Becoming

 
“This should be enough , to know somebody’ s name and wait for the rest of the life to know who he is, if we will ever come to know it, as what is is not the same of what has been and what has been is not the same as what will become.”
José Saramago – Baltasar and Blimunda
 
Most fascinating theme, the changing of people and self.
Becoming, which is not merely the passing of time, becoming older.
Becoming has the flavour of the loss, of the unavoidable change of people and things, so that something is always, unavoidably lost, if nothing else the naiveté of feelings and relationships.
It is not only that we lose sight of each other, this is still the lesser part. People that you no longer meet, no matter how painful the break up was, remain preserved in your memory.
At the time of the fracture the pain and despair for the loss of a major relationship, a love, an acquaintance, a friendship or even simply the end of an intense and gratifying work relationship may have prevailed. But in the end you realize that the relationship remains preserved in the memory just as it was, untouched by the time like a stuffed animal in a museum.
A much worse condition is the relationship which is not interrupted, nonetheless changes, beyond any reason, evolves, becomes of a different nature and essence, and this change cannot be ruled. Then you really feel powerless and just observe that what once was is no longer in place and that person is not disappeared, not at all, he or she is still there, but still things are not the same. Nothing is really changed, and nothing is what it used to be. This does not result in pain like the rude fact of losing somebody, it rather gives rise to compassion, like seeing your favourite garment becoming weary.
 
We change a little bit every day, a tiny change beyond notice, every morning we wake up slightly different from what we were the day before, so small the change that we cannot notice at all, like standing on a platform in extremely slow motion. Our equilibrium is of a dynamic nature, is the equilibrium of the biker who has to keep riding, and if it stops, his equilibrium is lost.
This is true for all of us, of course, so that the people that are around us also keep slowly changing all the time, they also have to keep riding not to fall. And there is no guarantee that during the ride they will remain close to you. Some run faster, some slower, some are simply taking a different direction and start putting space in between. Not much space in the beginning, perhaps, the paths are not diverting that much, however with time the distance starts building up, it becomes remarkable, then it becomes absolute and unforgiving, and nobody is at fault, it is not a matter of a deliberate choice, things simply have turned out this way, nothing more to say.
 
It may even hurt, this course of events, you could try to resist, pretend to come back as the things were before, but this is impossible, the river only flows in one direction.
 
Now, this thing makes me feel strange, it fills me with sadness, or I should better say empathy, infinite compassion for everybody undergoing this experience.
One of my favourite movies, or maybe “the” favourite, “Once upon a time in America” by Sergio Leone”, is the movie of my life because it shows this feeling to perfection, better than anybody could dream to do, this compassion of the main character for the loss, the unrecoverable and unwanted loss, for the hurting that life causes to us for the simple fact of living it.
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8 commenti su “Becoming

  1. utente anonimo ha detto:

    ciao Melogrande…Mi fermo sulla foto, che per i miei occhi e per la sensazione che mi suscita non ho bisogno di traduzioni…Per il testo..mmh…Mi ci va un tempo che ora non ho! Un abbraccio.
    Loredana

  2. utente anonimo ha detto:

    Avevo lasciato un commento ma e’ sparito…
    Dicevo, in quello, che e’ la fotografia su cui mi sono fermata, per l’emozione e il rimando che mi da’, che non han bisogno di traduzione. Mentre, per il testo, mi occorre tempo, che ora non ho!
    Ciao Melogrande, buona serata.
    Loredana

  3. melogrande ha detto:

    E`semplicemente la traduzione di un vecchio post, Lori, se vuoi trovi il link dove ho scritto (un esperimento di autotraduzione…).

    Non so perche’ poi mi sia venuta questa voglia, di vedere se mi riusciva di renderlo in inglese, sara’ stato l’ effetto delle bandierine dei visitatori che ho messo da qualche tempo …

  4. chiccama ha detto:

    direi che è una buona traduzione…
    a volte forse troppo “corretta” per il gergale che viaggia anche sui libri, ma sei bravo e la tua conoscenza della lingua non è “leggera”…
    poi tradurre se stessi non è mai facile, sembra un paradosso ma è così…
    un tempo quando facevo il “liceo” negli u.s. mi sono cimentata spesso nel poetare in lingua “anglo-americana” e poi qualche tempo fa ho cercato di tradurmi ed è stato difficilissimo…
    ti lascio un piccolo esempio…sono ricordi di un Texas visto da Austin…terra particolarissima..

    Wide-brimmed hats
    on levelled heads
    crewcut,
    with a firm stride
    on the hard pavement
    walk her man
    solid
    active

    among girls
    with perfumed hair
    with step elastic
    yet undulanting
    whisperingly seductive
    a fresh fragrance
    belying desires firm
    and precise,

    walk
    on those plains
    limitless
    lost
    in the infinite horizon.

    che a distanza di anni ho cercato di tradurre …

    I larghi cappelli
    su teste quadrate
    razionalmente rasate
    passo marcato
    su duro selciato
    vanno gli uomni
    grevi
    attivi

    incrociando fanciulle
    dalle chiome profumate
    dall’andare elastico
    ondulante
    lievemente ancheggiante
    fragranza fresca
    con aspirazioni salde
    precise

    vanno
    per quelle pianure
    sconfinate
    perdute
    nell’orrizzonte infinito.

    hai fatto bene a fare questa traduzione è anche un mettersi a confronto con se stessi!!
    ciaoo
    chicca

  5. utente anonimo ha detto:

    I read this post some months ago when you wrote it in Italian and just now I’ve read it in English.
    Great work Melogrande! Excellent blog!

    Becoming.
    Becoming our Selves
    A sort of death and rebirth.
    A process of change.
    Not merely become older but the unavoidable change that involves all of us.
    Unavoidable change of people we love and think we know.

    You are right saying that we change a little bit every day. Every morning we are quite different from what we were the day before. Just a little every day. So little that we do not realize it. Then suddenly one day we realize that our feeling, our character are changed. So deeply changed without being conscious. Then we consider this change as a loss. We fear the repercussions and outcomes but, more frequently than not, every change brings us closer to our Selves and therefore this change is worth whatever cost.

    I think how often we view transformations, transitions, cahnges and the like with a dreadful trepidation but trnasofrmations are frequently the most beautiful, the most life-giving and life-affirming. Changes give us new energy, an energy of beginning. An energy of wholeness.

    Of course there is a degrre of death in all changes, a loss of sorts and we always lose something and someone but the thruth is that we can not lose the the potency of the transformation and the beauty of it. Any loss we experience through that changes is loss of what we no longer need, who we no longer are.

    And what about people we lose?
    They change too.
    Sometime we are lucky and changes lead us in the same direction but often we have to strain the one’s eyes into the distance. We change and we have to accept the rules of the game
    Some run faster, some slower, someone decide to stop.
    Nothing else to say.

    Thanks Melogrande and keep the great work.

    hesse

  6. melogrande ha detto:

    Grazie, chicca, devo dire che temevo un po’ il tuo giudizio, il mio inglese è un po’ da autodidatta, tutto è iniziato tentando di tradurre i testi delle canzoni preferite !

    Complimenti per la “bipoesia”, il texas che ricordo è proprio come lo descrivi tu.
    Io all’ idea di autotradurre versi ho dovuto rinunciare subito, ci vuole ben altra familiarità con la lingua d’ arrivo …

    Hesse, thanks, maybe I will post again in english, so we can practice…
    Practice makes perfect, isn’ it ?

  7. utente anonimo ha detto:

    You are right.
    Practice makes perfect.
    Bye.

    hesse

  8. utente anonimo ha detto:

    Capita che leggendo delle cose che mi interessano ripenso ad alcuni dei tuoi post ed allora mi viene voglia di trascrivere quanto leggo tanto è spinta la sintonia,l’assonanza come in questo caso:
    “La nostra vita non è subordinata al conseguimento di oggetti dati ma è invece indipendentemente attiva: non si adegua al mondo ma lo costruisce senza interruzione. (…) Viviamo dunque alla luce di obiettivi irraggiungibili, ed è questa luce a rischiarare la nostra strada e a permetterci di vedere tutto quanto facciamo come un’approssimazione all’esito che desideriamo o come un allontanamento da esso – e quindi a permetterci di andare nella direzione giusta.” (Parole che contano di Ermanno Bencivenga)

    hesse

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